Assorted rants & other stuff (from other blog)

02:18 pm
6/17/05

Not quite that bad, but getting there. Have got no energy, and at the moment would rather slit my bell end with a paper cut (the 'worst thing' according to Viz) than contemplate the relative merits of vibration research, or read the excruciatingly fluffy bollocks that is mood research.

I spent a whole day last week trying to find things that I like about this place. I came up with a decent little cafe near here which is good, and direct flights out of here from Virgin.

The sooner I see some green in this country, the better. The sooner I am able to take a break, then the same.... The sooner I am out of here, then even better than that. This place has all the appeal of a dose of Herpes. I don't know why people come here to visit, though I'm now thinking it's only english chavs that do so. I know I can't really complain as it was of my own volition. However, I came here for a job rather than a desire to live here.

If anyone is considering bring your kids here to let them experience things, for god's sake take them to Eurodisney and let them also experience other cultural aspects of France. Better than them coming here and experiencing concrete, lard, hype and everything else that is here.

10:43 pm
4/19/05
time for a rant.

Ok, I admit to just shouting, breaking cd's and throwing things across the room.

The reason - my patience is wearing very very thin. Even the wife, who has been a very good calming influence on this jaunt so far, admits that she's starting to get very frustrated with things.

There are numerous reasons, namely: customer service only exists until the sale is made, and then there is NONE (oh yes, no returns policies); expect everything you buy to be shite; expect the person you deal with, with regard to said shite items to speak to you like you're somehow a spaz just as you don't have a local accent (I think that one can be filed under 'irony'); expect to be bankrupted through paying double deposits for everything, as you don't have credit history in the US (even though they go through the same credit-checking agencies, but they're too fucking lazy and busy eating pies to be bothered to try them).

Thank god (fuck, they're turning me into a god-botherer too now) the people in my office/lab are quite nice, as they at least challenge my view of the general population.

People at home have romantic dreams about moving to Florida. People at my former employers deemed me to be 'lucky'. I now really really think that people in the UK take it for granted. Ok, it doesn't have sun, and yes, the cars here are cheaper (if shite american ones), but believe me, I've seen more manners, insight, organisation, accountability, transparency and decency in a UK job centre than I have in ANYTHING since I've been here.

Come back british lazy chavy sponging cunts, everything is forgiven.

05:04 pm
4/14/05
This country.... (said in the style of Alan Partridge).

I'm back everyone. Coo-ee.

Lots of odd things have happened since I last wrote on here at some god-awful hour (pissed) as a procrastination exercise. I handed the thesis in, got married, passed the viva, packed in 4 hours, and flew out here early the next morning.

So, my current thoughts? This country... I mean, this country....

Don't get me wrong; some of the people are nice, some of the places are nice and some of the people are intelligent.

However, this place makes Thailand look organised. And for that matter, most of the people make the elephants in Thailand look like they suffer from an eating disorder of some kind. They are of impressive girth, believe me. Also, competence is seemingly optional (the option isn't taken usually), and intelligence sparse. I won't give examples unless I'm asked, as I'll rant for hours.

Our flat is so far sans furniture, so I've become very close to the floor. And ale (strictly imported from the holy land) - it seems to be an exogenous coping tool. At the end of the month I'm due two lots of pay, so it's settees a go-go and maybe a iPod for Lord Conway.

Oh, today I went for my driving test, only I didn't have my driving test as when we got there the spaces had been filled up. Yes, that's one example of what I was referring to earlier. However, I did pass the theory & signs tests. I can now yield like a motherfucker. Oh yes. Here's one for you - nobody has the right of way on Florida roads. The word 'retards' has popped into my head, though I don't know why.

I'm past trying to work out why things just don't make sense (processes etc). Any time something just doesn't make sense and is completely against logic, I now just put it down to "it's america".

Right, I have to make a green curry and crack open some wine.

KEYWORDS: Yield, Retards, logicless (I made that up), lardarsedbastards.

03:00 am
1/13/05
So then... what's new I hear you ask. Only, you ask that retrospectively as nobody reads this yet.

Well, me and t'other hayfe got engaged on New Years Eve (also her 30th birthday). I surprised her with the proposal; we were in a restaurant at the time. Bless her cotton socks - she's such a laydeeeee - she spent the 30 seconds immediately following my proposal reciting as many profanities to me as she could manage. When she ran out of them, and their various combinations (I can remember "you f**king b**tard, you f**cing c**t, etc) she proceded to start crying. Anyone would have thought I'd shot her prize pet pooch, or probably more accurately, stole her entire handbag collection.

T'was nice though... Wish I could remember more of it however. That's always the case - the memories of nice things get all muddled up, as opposed to the shite memories, where you can remember every last detail.. Bunch of arse eh?

Current efforts - trying to get draft version of thesis done (or more to the point, trying to get around to trying to do it), and trying to sort out visas....

Current thoughts - I'm noticing that wine helps stress. Anecdotally that is.... However, it has also been making me get extremely knackered extremely quickly. I think someone has been slipping rohypnol into my merlot. Coincidentally, my arse is a bit sore today.

Abstract thoughts:

1). Mini cheddars actually go well with le vin rouge (and rohypnol).
2). PhD's are wrong.
3). When I finish the PhD, I think I may, just may, get incredibly drunk.
4). Why can you cope with your own farts but not those of others?
5). I can't be arsed to write my abstract.

02:12 am
12/22/04
desperately need to work

Procrastination rules. Except it doesn't. I manage to avoid the unpleasantness that is work, only to be aware in the back of my mind that when I do go back to it, it will be even more unpleasant cos I've put it off.

Clearly I'm an arse.

Going to try to make some headway on it.

Important information - if you ever meet anyone that is considering doing a PhD, do anything you can to stop them. Unless they like 3 or 4 years of hell that is.

Again, clearly I'm an arse. I can spot a trend developing here.